A Woman in Transition


She is gentle, but tough
Simple, yet complicated
In harmony and discord
Fruitful and barren.

She is changing and developing,
While striving for perfection,
She is showing her flaws.
And when she's looking good,
She's looking bad--
For only when she bares the imperfections of her soul,
Does her true beauty show.

She is everything, but nothing
Lost in the wilderness
Destroying everything that she has built
Then creating a new world

She works with you, while against you
Exploring and introspecting
In her need for transcendence.

Joining hands, while walking alone
Enjoying, loving, hurting, healing
Accepting the process that this sojourn called life is-
Moving through transitions of energy and form
A being--
Changing in nature,
Responding with God.

yaffa©1979

     

My Muse

Is beyond beautiful, splendorous or magnificent

These words while descriptive oft seem trite

Cause I am unable to express or to fathom,

Or describe this muse in all depth and height.

 

Loyal and devoted twenty- four seven

Demanding and confrontational it seems

My muse stirs me while I sleep and speaks to me in dreams;

In every endeavor to exact the best from me.

 

Regardless of self proclaimed inadequacy

It continues its gracious and loyal devotion to me

Teaching that borders are generous indeed

Just look at the ocean and then pay heed.

 

The paradigm of loving kindness in literary form

Is every word that God has spoken

Every scripture I've ever learned and incorporated,

All the myriad verses I've understood

Every psalm I've every sung and every hymn I've ever written.

 

My muse is my constant friend

A never ceasing gentle persuasion

That encourages my soul with constant prodding

That keeps me nightly and sleeps me gently

Loves me in all tenderness

While yet ruthless in its insistence

 to take charge over me for my good

Woos and stirs my hearts desires

Fans and flames my spirit fire

Encourages me to be bright and vibrant

My Muse is always God, His word alive in me.

 

© Yaffa 8-7-2005

Passion
A vision for a future love and marriage relationship

Passion is a flower,
Awakening in the morning
A soul of love, a brand of fire.
My heart is stirred by passion's fire.

Souls desire to cleave as one
Thrilling, rhythmic, dance of love
Passions sway to light the way
Our dance of love, to never stray.

Gifted teachings rule our hearts.
Their words have taught us how to live
Shaped our minds and filled our hearts,
Souls desire, just to give.

I want to recreate His love
I want to share and care with you
The deeper essence in this kiss,
A greater passion than we knew.

Your words so caring from the start
Have touched my soul, sparked my heart.
You, O, man of passions, fire
Set my nights and days afire.

I dare dream creating, from two, One;
To harmonize and synchronize
Indulgent solely to love's desires
Souls to nourish from higher powers.

I hope that we will choose to be
Together walking, you and me
To live, and laugh, to walk as One;
How fortunate we will become.

A ball of sparks, potent fire,
Beautiful, fragrant, blooming flowers.
Wooing us to higher powers
Beckoning now, like vibrant fire;
Complete, fulfill, our souls' desires.

Yaffa Leibowitz © 7/31/2005

 

Bittersweet


Where we've been, this heart and soul
Amiss my spirit, life unfolds before me
Tousled, jostled, like tumbling weeds,
Death leaves bittersweet memories.

Like fractured bones and fragile roots,
A tender soul got a vicious boot
A splintered heart and screams untold
Escape from this once enraptured, soul.

Thrashed and trashed like dead debris
All life's desire lies dead before me
Bitter cries from deep within
Release me from this nightmare's whim!

Rich while poor, struggling to keep
Joyous memories that make me weep
Despite the lovers threat to die,
I close my lids, ask why survive?

But garnered strength the soul doth see
Life spawning hidden mysteries---
A land, fertile and green, far as eye can see
With horizons of love that lie lush afore me.

Oh, come to me! You, across the sea!
I pray thee come, awaken me
Come join my arms, I shall not fail
To see and know your hearts travail.

Come hither now to glance at me!
And let our eyes find what we seek--
To love anew, and more than then
To love as One, to live again.

 

©By Yaffa, October, 2005

 

The Gift And The Giver
8/10/2005
By Yaffa Leah Leibowitz

I remember reading the news last year with horror and fear. News of diplomatic initiatives presented in the Labor Party Central Committee meeting:

"Binyamin Ben-Eliezer, Israel`s defense minister, said he would be willing to give up Israeli sovereignty over the Temple Mount - Judaism`s holiest site. MK Chaim Ramon, who plans to run for the party leadership in the next election, appeared to differ with Ben-Eliezer in strategy, but not substance, saying there is no point in offering plans at this point when there is no one on the other side with whom to negotiate."

The Holy One entrusted the land of Israel to our patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Have our leaders forgotten the names King David and Solomon? Have they forgotten that it was the Jewish people who were commanded by the God of Israel to build the holy Temple? It was our ancestors who sacrificed their vessels to build it and who embodied the Temple and the land.

Further, this Temple Mount was built by and for Jews, and since that time it has been the cornerstone of the Judaism. It is the site the Jewish people cling to, continue to visit and pray toward on every occasion. The stewardship of the site was passed down to the sons and daughters of our forefathers. We are the guardians of this land and this Temple here on earth.

I ask our leaders: Is it you who have given us the land and the blessing? Is it is your power that has kept us these many years? Perhaps it has also been your power and your gifts of generosity that have made and kept the people of Israel?

Indeed, it is neither your land nor your gifts that we have inherited. What gives you, our temporal leaders, the right to negotiate what is not yours? You usurp authority to give away a gift that belongs to all of us. The Jewish nation was given this land by the Landlord Himself. How is it that we can go above the head of the Landlord - that we are brazen enough to even consider giving away the gift that was given to us?

I am reminded of a tiny hurt I suffered which provides a different lens. A couple of years ago, I was shopping with my husband, z"l, in a discount store on Long Island. I found a lovely wooden shelf that was painted ivory with delicately drawn peaches and softly colored green leaves. The perfection with which the artist crafted, painstakingly hand-painted, lacquered and finished the shelf was such that I just had to have it.

I am partial to shades of rose along with fresh or muted greens. Peach is not a dominant part of my color scheme. Yet I loved it so much that I could not leave it on the shelf. I decided that if I could not use it in my home, I would give it to someone as a housewarming gift. One day someone I knew saw it in my closet, still in its wrapping, and asked what it was. I took that as a hint and said it was a gift I had intended to give her for her new home. With mixed emotions, joy intermingled with a bit of uncertainty, I gave it to her, believing it would cheer her and add a bit of love and warmth to her new but empty nest.

I found out some time later that she never used it. She went to visit someone, or he came to visit her, and she gave it away. I was crushed. Had she given me the same, I would have used it, taken care of it, and remembered her by it. Though it was perhaps an insignificant gift with regards to cost, it was a gesture of love, a simple and heartfelt means to communicate that I cared.

When I reflect upon this experience, I also think about the Holy One and the myriad gifts that we have been given, beginning with the gift of life itself. I understand that if I could feel so deeply betrayed by this - a small gesture of love and devotion - I can`t even begin to imagine the magnitude of our error in ceding the very inheritance given us by Hashem.

I think about how much of the land we already have given away, and I wonder if the Temple and the land of Israel were also given to a people who did not understand the love or the sentiments of the Giver. After all, if one of our loved ones gives us a piece of jewelry, we certainly cherish it, and perhaps even flaunt it. How is it that our leaders do not cherish our land, our Temple Mount, our Torah - but are willing to allow the Arabs to wipe out all of these things?

We have already given away Sinai, are about to uproot thousands of Jews from their homes, and some of our leaders appear ready to give away the Temple Mount and all it entails. How detestable. Why are their - and our - hearts not broken?

I know what it is to fight for my beliefs and to suffer. I remember all that I endured while studying to become a georet and continue to suffer to this day in my attempts to be a decent Jew. It takes courage to endure the necessary and difficult work essential to learning new values, customs and traditions; to amass the endless knowledge that is Judaism; to discover new ways of thinking and learning; to leave behind family and lifelong friends - all the while trying to combat the inevitable alienation, prejudice and rejection.

Alas, as a stranger one is not always readily accepted - and then there is the hate one experiences from the non-observant, the irreligious, who mock Torah observers. I experienced that in the months before I converted, may God forgive. Yes, I too, like those before and after me, know what it is to fight against all odds, to turn our world and everyone in it upside down for our beliefs and convictions.

I did not endure all of that to join a nation of cowards who are willing to sell their souls, the Torah and land of the people of Israel, did I? Do we dare seem ungrateful to God by negotiating away the gift that has been given to us - or arouse His anger by not accepting it?

All of us who love and revere the gift that our Father gave us want to be good stewards of that gift. Israel is the only land blessed by God to be worthy of a specific, close connection to Him. It is my hope and prayer - and I know it is the hope and prayer of all who love God, Torah, and Israel - that the Holy One will soften the hearts of our leaders and enlighten them; that He will bring them closer to Him, to Torah, and to His people, so that they will come to appreciate the gift of our nation and our land, and the Giver - the Landlord Who is eternal.

Yaffa Leibowitz is a freelance journalist, composer, poet, singer and harpist residing in Boca Raton, Florida. She can be reached at Yaffinity.gaia.com

 

When I was 17 and first loved by a very nice boy in high school. it was an amazing experience. And I have since felt that way in any relationship that was close, loving, nurturing, giving, built on bridges of trust and honesty...

 

At every given moment we have an opportunity to make choices. Some have already been made for us, and some we have made from our own desires and previous choices.  For instance, the Jewish people awake from sleep in the morning, and the first thing that is done upon opening our eyes, is to say Modeh Ani, the traditional Jewish prayer of giving thanks for our souls being returned to us each morning, as death is a certain percentage of sleep... and then we wash our hands, brush our teeth, go into the shower, etc.  There are no challenges about whether or not we need to bathe, brush our teeth, etc. we know and we do.  It has already become second nature.  Therefore, it is really not a choice.  The time of choosing has already come and gone, finished, now it is the way we do things. We have beaten the inclination to be lazy (it is called the yetzer hara in hebrew)  the opposite of good and right, of that issue into submission, or perhaps that was never an issue, or perhaps there was a different one. But whether by the grooming habits learned from our parents as children or by decisions we made in later years on our own and of our own volition, habits and behaviors, customs  -- were created.  And since most of us do that every morning;  we call that a derech-- a  way (that we do things.)  That is the natural way we go about beginning our morning, and these are our habits.  It has become automatic--rote, if you will. Chances are that we have learned and adapted this way long ago and it is part of our very essence and lifestyle.   And now we have become in a sense -  a slave to those values, habits, and behaviors that we have adapted and accepted as appropriate behaviors and standards.

          However, when we come to a time and place with a new set of challenges and circumstances, we are presented with a test.  Now we must weigh this according to both the desires of our heart and our will and then a decision must be made with regard to that test or challenge.  So, we are put into a position to weigh the benefits and deficits of that opportunity, thought or action and to choose accordingly by exercising our free will or choice.  The particular issue at that moment is called the bechira point, and this opportunity to make a choice, to exercise free will is called bechira. This is one of the ways in which we have been likened to our Creator, just as God has free will, so do we! We too, like God, have the ability to choose and to co - create. It is the time to choose one way over another.  Once we have already made a decision to choose one way -- then that choice that we have just made, opens a world of brand new possibilities that brings with it more choices to make for the fulfillment and completion of itself. And, in doing so, it takes us to another spiritual level, either an elevation or a fall.

For instance, lets say one makes a choice to study medicine.  Once we opt to take the first course in anatomy, the whole curriculum is then open to us, it is a whole new world, and presents the opportunity to learn everything there is to know about medicine and healing, about the human body, how it works, how to fix it, it introduces us to new friends, relationships, positions, etc.  It opens up a whole new world!~

Most likely we will want to go all the way to complete the courses for the doctorate and will not rest until we have fulfilled those requirements necessary.  Of course, we have the choice to stop at any given moment if we are deterred or distracted and decide to go in another direction....and if so, that door will then close and its entire world will be closed to us and all opportunity to fulfill those requirements to completion at that time will be lost. But until that time, we have become a slave to our studies and to all of the values and facets that lifestyle has to offer.  Meanwhile we have created a derech, a way of behaving or of doing. It is then we no longer have this bechira, because once we have decided to study, there is no longer any decision to be made. The choice has already been made and now it has becomes a lifestyle of practiced behaviors, with all of its opportunities, demands, potential, and ramifications.  Now as we go forward in that way, of endless study and learning, we have become a slave to that which we have chosen which is not bad.  Hopefully it was a good choice and the decision was based on pure motives and desires based in purity from a heart of honesty and integrity. 

But what if you have not chosen wisely and for one reason or another, your choice undermines your nature and your potential, your abilities?  Perhaps you chose a path because someone influenced you to do that.  Or perhaps it was your own ego that deceived you.  Perhaps it was the desire for money or prestige that influenced you to make that decision.  And now you are stressed out, unhappy, irritable, and depressed.  You are confused.  Your soul is not at rest. You wonder.  Why am I so dissatisfied, restless?  Perhaps you do not realize that the choice you made to study medicine was made from an outer influence or your own desires were not honest. Now you don't know where to turn to find the solution to your problem.

This is what it meant in the verse, I place before you this day...(two choices,) ie, for life or for death)...and therefore... "choose ye life."  The choices we make, whether they are good or bad ones, will control and dominate us as long as we live in their domain, and they have the capacity to empower us by making us a master or they have a power over us to enslave. That choice we have made will take us as far as we allow it, incorporating all of its energies and expectations, its fulfillment or lack of it, until we come to a new place where we will once again make another choice, and will reach a new point of bechira.  At this point, we will leave behind that world that we have inhabited and enter into another realm. This new level we reach is spiritually higher, depending on our hearts desire to become more like our Creator,  and brings with it choices with different circumstances and potential, opportunities again emerging for  higher levels of growth with new chances to make new decisions that will either broaden or diminish us.  When we make those choices that have their roots in good, that are from the side of GOD, we will always  become greater.  God will never, ever diminish us or make us less!  I believe you understand the point now. 

 Hopefully, the decisions we make today with their infinite reservoir of opportunity for expansion and elevation  will be met with a choice made from our desire to be closer to and more like, God. They will manifest and be expressed in those higher levels of growth in kedusha-holiness.  New potential and infinite possibilities are ours today.  Based on the choices that we make today we will reach higher levels than we have sought before and will be strengthened in our desires to fulfill the position that we have been given.  That is--that we have been called Tzelem Elokim, (made in the image and likeness of God).  We are created in the Image and likeness of God, with His nature, His attributes and His character. But to really be that Tzelem Elokim, to say that we are made in God's Image, is to rise to conquer our evil inclination, i.e., our yetzer hara, and to meet those new challenges for growth and expansion which come from the discipline necessary to develop that potential--which is far greater and far surpasses any delusions of grandeur that we have ever had or will ever dream. 

To know that what our choices are today can bring us to higher and higher levels of greatness is the reason for our very existence.  To live at this level is to become a conqueror, as is written about God, who is called, Hashem Tzivakot, the L-ord of Hosts or armies!  A being that has become a master over his own evil inclination and of his own nature by choosing and working to overcome those influences that undermine potentials of greatness--and by being willing to make decisions that will manifest in greater heights of holiness, is to be more like God and to move closer toward God and Godliness.  To beckon to our calling in life at this exalted spiritual level is to be fulfilled, to be whole and complete, and to reach our ultimate level of perfection.

© Yaffa Leibowitz 2006

 

Ego games

What are these games that lovers play
that destroy love and egos slay?
Unrequited, spited love
Instead of love from high above

We need to take a back seat now
Take a look at what we've vowed
Despite flaws to be, to love as one,
How fortunate we would become

And love I will, for all to see.
Impassioned flames from antiquity
and when you love consider this
the one you spite is who you'll miss.

If you decide to play this game
as ego dictates; leaves you lame.
You'll not transcend to or become
matured in spirit or a free loved one.

You need to press through it all to see
That love is the gift of maturity. 

© Yaffa 2005

Separation

How many times have we heard
Gotta be me, gotta be free.

Sitting and listening to the Word of God.
"It is not good for man to be Alone;"
And Adam could not communicate with the animals
And so Eve was created.

From his rib, while he lay sleeping, sweetly
She was placed in the crook of his arm,
His equal,
and opposite to be...
His Own...
Joined to cleave and cling together
Hopelessly in love,
With God,
As One...
In unity and beauty,
Unselfishly

I thought about divorce
A separation from someone you love.
Ripping the heart,
Etching the soul.
Two hearts unwilling to yield,
Two hearts unwilling to give
Two people saying,
"Got to be me, do my own thing."

Separation Again
Without God leading us,
When do we grow...
When does alienation end?


©Yaffa 1980

Yaffa

 

Prayer of Repentance

For You have always loved me, my Lord
Tho my eyes could not often see
My feeling of forsakeness
Came from the depths of me
You my Lord have looked, deep within my heart
And dealt with me on those things which have pleased You
For You are much more merciful than I
Ever would be.
My Father hear my plea and comfort me
As I come to you boldly,
Exposing my iniquity
Seeking Your wisdom with humility
Asking "What You see in me?"
For I am not worthy to share Your likeness
But thru Your tender mercies
May I come boldly to Your throne
Seeking forgiveness and restitution
That tomorrow I may be more pleasing
To Thine eye...
Thine eye that shineth on me.


©Yaffa 1980

Yaffa

 

Solitude

Solitude,

How sweet you are

It's you and I,

Alone at last.

To be-in our own world,

Made up of dreams,

That only we dare to dream.

 

I love the peace that you give so freely

Tranquility washing over frustration and doubt,

Emptiness tricked me,

Separation stole my cries...

Alas,

 I was unable to touch something or someone I love.

And now, I come home to you

Thankful for the place that you have saved me

For in this space is the preparation of a new practice,

A new learning in life.

 

The questions have all ceased

The jury deliberated....

There are no more doubts

For in this place I know all and give all.

 

I practice making love to life,

Creating, shaping, coloring, guiding, believing, trusting.

You Hold Me.
Supportive of my every wish and whim.
Allowing me to grow and develop with patience...

Each step I take is accepted with enthusiasm

 

Like a child taking its first step,

Sometimes I feel so shy-

Naïve to the sophistication of the world

But....

No one knows...

Just You,

and I.

 

©1979Yaffa

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

   

EARLY WINTER (by my friend Rich)

The sun disappeared quickly - a bullet shot at night
You could smell the snow coming like the July storms
Only colder, arctic
No more Sunday heroes or golden crops on the fields afar
They lay fallow, brown, muddy, morbid
Like my heart - split open and lifeless
Brown, muddy, morbid, arctic
Shot by the bullet
It's only November

by Rich 2005

My response..

Wounded Hero

The sun rose quickly, soothing my tormented heart
Smell of fragrant spring in the air
Delicate scent of flowers sweet and the coming rains to start
Softens the winter chill that crept in through the night
Now the sun thaws, melts the shards of ice
That split my soul, stole and stilled my life.
My heart open now to face the warm sun
As it shines on this burgeoning one -- nourished by blessed rain.
A vibrant, beautiful soul, born anew again...
This hero alive once more in December...
No need to wait for the springtime yet to come.

By

Yaffa©2005

 

Blue

 

To My Avi in Heaven

©By Yaffa Leah Leibowitz

 

Blue Is what I am

In and out, I am blue

Broken and left to die

I wait on God...while missing you...

 

No passion in this empty pot of clay, today.

God, why must I suffer this way?

Why must I cry out night and day,

Your flower is left to wilt without you.

 

Walking without a goal, I must go on...

Seeking light, while seething darkness prevails

All I see is you.

 

Let me run from you today

Let me tuck away your name

Hide your face from my eyes,

Till I can work through the pain

Let me go.

Let me go away,

Let me not return

Till I can learn to live again without you.

Yaffa

 

Answer Me, Love

 

I have not yet seen you

Nor have you seen me,

But when I do, will it be You

Whose name is forever inscribed in my eternity?

Shyness fades into oblivion
Words are spoken and understood easily;
A part of time has stood still for us --

Might our souls have known from the beginning?

 

When you see my face, will your heart rejoice?

Will we know that we are each another's choice
Will the power of our union create a dream come true,

Will my soul's quest to love manifest in the man that is you?

 

Will there be whispered words of tenderness
Endless laughter, heartbeat of passion
Gazing at the sunrise at dawn
Writing bare foot in the sunshine
Tears of healing falling like fresh rain

When we first see one another

Will we take each others breath away?

 

Yes, my soul calls out to you, deep calling to deep

Does my soul recognize itself in you;

Are you my soul, my mate?

Am I your destiny, your fate?

 

Two souls call to celebrate one another from afar

Just a heartbeat away to where we are

Who is this stranger that my heart doth know

Perhaps we are destined to merge, one soul?

Veiled and unrevealed to one another

Per chance the eye of the soul doth see

The piece of me that is missing in you,

The piece of you that is missing in me

Answer Me, Love

 

 

©2006 Yaffa

 

THE JEWISH PRESS • Friday, June 10, 2005


Shavuot: (Pentecost) The Giving of the Torah of Yisro (Yithro) and Ruth

A Perspective on Georim (Converts)

By Yaffa Leah Leibowitz

 

We learn from the life of the Ger Tzedek, (a ger is a convert to Judaism and tzedek means righteous) Avraham ben Avraham, a man of courage and integrity, tested and proven faithful to G-d and to the Torah, what kind of mesirat nefesh (self sacrifice) it takes to not only seek truth, but then to manifest that truth on a practical level every day that we live. Avraham ben Avraham, the Ger Tzedek, the former Count Pototski and heir to the Polish dukedom was arrested by the Polish church after he abandoned his title to make his conversion to Judaism. This was a major blow to the credibility and prestige of the church. Although he was pressured by both his mother and the bishop to return to his "rightful" place, he did not renounce his Judaism and was condemned to be burned at the stake. It is told that rather than capitulate, he sat in jail, and rejected the invitation to be freed through Kabbala by the great sage and rabbi, the Vilna Gaon, stating:

 "G-d Forbid!  I have waited all my life only to make a Kiddush Hashem."
 (Kiddush -holy, hashem refers to God, literally, the name, so a kiddush hashem means to glorify God!)

 

His famous chiddush, (insight), is elucidated in his explanation to the Bishop while being interrogated.  

 

"Over 3,000 years ago God offered the Torah to all of the nations of the world. The gentiles asked, what exactly does it entail? When they were offered the commandments, most of them refused to accept them, feeling that it didn't fit their lifestyles, and since the torah was offered to a nation rather than to individuals, the majority ruled, and the gentiles were not given the torah. Next, God offered the Torah to the b'nei Israel, (ie, the sons of israel) and they too, asked, what does it entail? There were those of b'nei Israel who also refused, feeling it didn't fit their lifestyles either, and they became the eruv rav. (the remnant that is non observant) However, the majority said yes, "Na oseh v'nishmah, we will do and we will hear."

 

"You see, he added to the Bishop, I was one of those souls who stood shoulder to shoulder at the foot of Mount Sinai with b'nei Israel over 3,000 years ago at the giving of the torah to the Jewish People, and I was one of those who said, ‘Yes, na oseh v'nishma,' we will do and we will hear! And now, I am only honoring the promise that I had already made to God, Hashem over 3000 years ago."

 

On Shavuot  (The day of the giving of the torah) which starts this Sunday, June 8th at sundown, we will read these words from the book of Ruth:

"Turn back my daughters, why should you come with me?

....And they raised up their voices and wept bitterly. Orpah kissed her mother in law, but Ruth clung to her. So she said, Look, your sister in law has returned to her people, and to her god; go, follow your sister in law."

 

But Ruth clung to her and said:

Do not urge me to leave you or forsake you

Wherever you go, I too will follow

Where you dwell I will also dwell,

Your people will be my people

Your G-d will be my G-d

Where you die, I shall also be buried,

May G-d do this to me and more, 

If anything but death separate you from me.

 

What were the attitudes and understandings that contributed to the differing individual choices between Ruth and Orpah? What motivated Ruth to stay and to cling to Naomi and the Jewish people, while her sister in law, Orpah, decided to return to her country and gods? What are the very distinct differences between them? How do we come to understand the two totally opposite manifestations of behavior between these two sisters in law?

 

We know that every letter of the torah is embodied with meaning, power, and revelation. We are taught that the Hebrew letters of the alef bet (hebrew alphabet) reveal volumes of information. We also know that our names are given to us from our parents via Ruach Ha Kodesh, (ruach, spirit, kodesh, holy) directly from the shamayim (heavens) and that we can also extract information about a persons attributes and character, his very essence, from the Hebrew letters of his name. If we look at the questions above from the perspective of the torah, we have some answers.

 

Ruth means to quench, to refresh, to saturate. She came from the filthy land of Moab, yet she sifted out her life of tumah, (impurity) reworked herself by saturating herself in Torah, and embraced Kedushah, holiness. At the same time that she elevated herself she also elevated all Am Yisrael. (am -nation of Israel)

 

However, if we look at the Hebrew letters that comprise Orpah, and rearrange them, we spell out Pharo, and then again, Oref, meaning, the back of the neck. Orpah turned her back on G-d and Judaism. 

 

I remember the day very clearly many years ago before I too, came to Judaism. I was living in the "bible belt," Tulsa, Oklahoma, a minister of Christianity, searching for answers to my many questions about how a man could be G-d; or, how come Christians do not keep Holydays and Shabbat? Or, why can't I learn Hebrew, so I can know for sure what G-d is saying and not blindly trust another opinion? Or, why did Jesus keep kosher and what does that entail?

 

It was during this time in my life that I happened to be shopping in a Christian Book store. I was looking at some religious artifacts, pictures, etc. when I happened unto a small wicker basket adorned with lace which had a verse written on a piece of parchment paper glued into the center of the basket with this very same beautiful and moving statement from the book of Ruth.

 

I will never forget that day. Something struck me deep within. I stood before the verse, studying it, and right there where I stood; I very silently looked to God and whispered:

"But I am following You!

I have moved from bible school to bible school, state to state, to learn, and to follow You.

What are You telling me?"

 

I bought the basket, took it home with me, and decided to hang it on my bedroom wall where I would see it every day, so that I would keep the matter fresh in my mind. I would wait upon Him. It would be many years later before I would come to understand as did my ancestors before me -- starting from the first Ger, Avraham Avinu, Abraham, our father who is the first convert and Yitzchak -Issac and Yaacov Avinu, Jacob to Yisro, yisro to Rachav, to Ruth, the progenitor of David Ha Melech, King David, Melech = King and the antecedent to Mashiach, messiah) that I too, stood shoulder to shoulder with all of klall Yisrael when God presented and revealed the Torah to the "Jewish people" at the foot of Mount  Sinai forging the connection between us for eternity. 

In a moment, then, when together as one, in unison, we all declared, "Yes, na'oseh v'nishma," the Jewish nation was born. Our union then, our link, what makes us family, what makes us Jews, what makes us Am Yisrael, is a spiritual connection.

 

Prejudices do not give pleasure or satisfication to ha Koshesh Baruch Hu, (the Holy One, blessed be He.)  God does not derive pleasure from negative interactions and simmering prejudices.  

According to Rabbi Ginsburgh the righteous convert, called ger tzedek in Hebrew, is attached to the concept of tzedek; tzedek is the Holy Kingdom, therefore David descends from Ruth. Without the ger tzedek, (the righteous convert who carries out Gods commandments)  we cannot merit Kingdom."

Georim have been part and parcel of Judaism from the beginning, and bring klall Yisrael to ultimate redemption and total and complete fruition. Klall Yisrael  (All the nation of Israel) has benefited from gerim (pl. converts) from the time of Avraham Avinu to Ruth Ha Moabite, the progenitor of King David and the Mashiach and it is the thread woven into the very fabric of Jewish identity and history.

A righteous ger, one who comes to  God without any other motive but to come close to God, will undergo this overwhelming transformation that occurs along with mikvah (ritual bath for cleansing and purification) and commitment. Once Jewish, the Jewish soul is endowed with additional potential to fulfill the image of tzelem elokim, (likeness or image  of God) and becomes a truly elevated Jew. 

 

May the Holy One, Blessed Be He, help us to receive our Torah and its precepts with simcha, and to bring forth those true Jewish Souls that are captured in gentile bodies to complete Am Yisrael in our generation. May we merit greeting the mashiach within the walls of the beit hamikdash (the temple) speedily in our days, Amen.

 

 

 

"He brought me to the banqueting table, and his banner over me was love."

Shir Ha Shirim, The Song of Songs

 

A delicate green bow, tied to the back of the chair in front of our vanity. A long, purple sash from a wedding that I have since adorned the bed with, a long stemmed white chocolate rose wrapped in cellophane that I placed in a vase as a treasure, a small gold box containing two delicious milk chocolates, 2 glass vials of saffron, and 5 T-shirts from a bar mitzvah that I will probably never wear. These were the things that you brought to me two nights before your beautiful, pure soul left your body to arise to a more exalted place.

 

You asked me to bring home ice cream for you and low fat yogurt for me that I will never eat because it was the last thing you asked me to buy the evening before your passing. You ate from that too, after you had the ice cream, because you always wanted to share, and to feel connected to me.

Whether it was a credit card with my name on it, pictures of me alone or us together, a music disc or a business card of mine, you kept it on your person or in a prayer book as you prayed.  G-d only knows what I did to deserve you; and now, God willing, I will continue to do the same for you.

 

These are the kinds of simple yet thoughtful offerings that I was privy to. You, who were immersed in acts of kindness, brought these gifts that reflected your heart of love and devotion. Your character was one of humility and the ability to love unselfishly. My sorrow now is that I must go on without you---my strength and my joy. I am not able to care for you or to seek you any longer, to drink from the sweetness of your Torah or to return sweetness to you here on earth. May I find the strength now to continue and to internalize the example that you left me, to develop your tolerance for others, regardless of the level of observance or understanding and to inherit the joy that oozed forth from you; along with the holiness that was the foundation of our marriage. What you gave me was the cornerstone of Chassidic tradition that I was heretofore, not privy to. What I want in my life now, is to honor you by continuing in your footsteps, my husband, my Prince.

 

You rose early in the morning to fortify yourself in prayer and learning, spending quiet time with Hashem in the synagogue alone. Quietly and in secret, you learned and prayed, not looking for kavod, but looking to correct imperfections and flaws with zeal and diligence.

 

For others, even strangers, you shared your kippah, fur hat, or robe and you cloaked them with your love. The children were smitten with you; you loved them passionately and carried them in your thoughts and in your bosom of prayer. Their faces are with you now in the shamayim where you will continue to pray that the seeds implanted within them will blossom and come to fruition. You cloaked them too, in your garments. You gave one of those very fortunate children your very own Kiddush cup. And they loved placing your fur hat on their small heads. With holiness, you crowned them. Had your garments fit them, you would have removed them from your holy body and given them also. What a privilege! You gave so naturally, so often in such a matter of fact fashion that you never even knew how deeply you impacted those you touched. You only knew that you wanted to share the sweetness and the holiness of the torah that you embraced with everyone that was fortunate enough to see your face, and that, my husband, you perfected in splendor.

 

The stories about you never end. Every day I hear another story that you have never told me. I never knew to what depths your graciousness, your kindness, or how your respect for the creation sent forth ripples of light into the world.

 

Royalty flowed from your pores. Yours was a life of hard work, devotion, prayer and study. The discipline you practiced in character refinement, prayer and learning manifested in the holiness that you embodied and was so undeniably obvious to anyone who had a spark of truth in them. Everything that God required of you was your delight. Nothing was too difficult for you. You accepted tests and misfortune, injustice, wrongs against you and disrespect with all humility and you used adversity to elevate yourself, taking your pain to Him in tears, all the while you maintained your beautiful qualities, emotional attributes and sterling character, exuding peace and joy, never to speak ill to the ones who brought you sorrow. You were without arrogance. Instead you tried to reason and correct in a gentle way, never showing anger or resentment. You responded to everyone kindly, trying to encourage them to Godliness and to Torah. You gave sweetly, the wine of your Torah. You were a lamb and a lion in a world full of wolves and goats. You were a tender soul. You were much too pure for this world, my husband.

 

Your holiness and your kingly essence were burned into you from the resurrected ashes of your fiery repentance. You slept on floors; you humbled yourself by accepting upon yourself trials and challenges to negate any and all former mistakes or sins. You needed nothing of this world. You were selfless. You loved to give, yet you required virtually nothing in return. What amazing character! Your service to God was truth and integrity. Your love for God was evident in every movement you made. These are the things that I love you for. I only wish that I would reach your level.

 

I was most fortunate to have you, my husband. You were a treasure who was given from high above. You were a priceless gem. In truth, there is so much about you that I will never understand. You showed me what a true Jew and a servant of God really is, and I am afraid that most of us will never meet another like you.

 

 I am captivated and awed by what your level of accomplishment was in 16 short years. Only God knows what you created from nothing, how you alone worked diligently to transform yourself from the outer shell of impurity to manifest a G-dly soul. Although you came from a line of royalty, you were not given Yiddishkeit at home. You developed your own position and stature through your own efforts.

 

You honored Hashem magnificently. Nothing for Hashem was too difficult for you to embrace and to fulfill. You picked yourself up from the influences, the spiritual filth of the secular world and your fine attributes and your holiness were the outcome of repentance, returning back to God and Torah, focus, devotion and discipline. Your name will forever be engraved in the memories of all who beheld the royalty that was your stature. When I watched you dance on Simchat Torah, or in a simcha, I was spellbound. Your gracious and dignified dance was regal, the seeds of your ancestry manifesting majestically. You were a Prince.

 

May I strive to follow more closely in your example my husband. You are not only the Boca Raton Rebbe, Avraham Chaim; you are Avraham Chaim, Prince of Yisrael.

 

From the depths of my heart and soul I thank God for you and for all of us who were fortunate to gaze upon you in the beauty of your holiness, revealing a likeness of Godliness.

 

Avraham Chaim, My husband, my love, my light, my Prince, Prince of Yisrael. You were a quiet and unassuming leader, a gentleman in every sense of the word. Although you have been taken from us and we are pained by your absence, I pray that your example, your presence, your life and your light will continue to empower and illuminate us in an even greater way now that you have elevated yourself to the higher world. You lived and worked hard, you gave your heart and soul selflessly, and you denied yourself to achieve entrance to Olam Haba. May we learn from your example.

 

A leftover half pint of fat free yogurt, a green bow, a purple sash, 2 vials of saffron, 5 T-shirts from a bar mitzvah, one cellophane wrapped long stemmed white chocolate rose in a vase: simple and small things that remind me of your love, my life, my neshama, my Prince.  Simple gifts that tear at my heart, that rip into my soul to remind me of you. You were torn from me; ka herif ayin - in a blink of an eye, and we, your friends and children must go on and no longer have the merit to gaze upon you in our lives or at our Shabbat or Yom Tov table. Our loss is great. However; we can capitalize on your life if we will only take the rich legacy you left us and incorporate these habits and values into our lives.

 

My Prince, you were taken away too soon; you were too young, our time was not nearly enough for us to catch up to your growth. How I wish with all of my heart that you will help us from the heavens now to accomplish what we need to reach our potential. May we remember you and allow your light to shine in us all of our days to remove all lies, betrayals, impurities and imperfections in our character so that we too, might glorify G-d to the extent that you have and to transcend our earthly natures so that we come to embody those same Godly attributes and then to merit to see the coming of Mashiach speedily in our days, amen.

I ask myself every day, have I 'moved over' enough to allow myself to love enough; have I 'moved over' to give enough? how does my behavior stack up with my God given potential to be all that I was meant to be? This is the definition of sin, missing the mark, falling short of the goal. Denying the Godliness that is within me.

I am beside myself -- horrified, stunned, devastated -- there are no words I can convey to express my horror over the hit and run that occured yesterday in Hartford Connecticut  leaving an elderly 76 year old man, Mr. Torres lying on the ground with thousands of passerbys and people walking the streets, yet UNwilling to help.....How do we understand and explain this devastating manifestation of brutal apathy??
 
All I can say is WOW, WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE~~ I CAN'T EVER REMEMBER SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENING IN MY LIFETIME..What has happened to human beings??We are falling far from loving...Where is the God in us??
How can thousands of people be so apathetic, so self centered, selfish, insensitive?

I can't even conceive of it..can you??

To men who are MEN, searching for that unspoiled Madonna

A pretty face belies a deceptive heart
A curvaceous form,
You are snared from the start
Cause she knows you are an easy mark
Foolish man.

Her modus operandi is simply to snare
she mixes her mysterious brew with her stare
A potion that will render you feeble--
Engorged, aflame and snared by desire
She thrives on your brazen, passion fire!
Poor, simple, man.

This is the way of the worldly one.
Nothing more than a sophisticated vamp
A kinder word than lowly tramp
This is no angel from above
Only a demon from the pit of hell
Who lies in wait to ring your bell!

She lacks virtue and honesty
Knows nothing of love with dignity
Lacking in backbone, no integrity
She is a selfish, self serving entity
This woman feigns a life of God!

Buyers beware of her importuner's snare.
She'll leave you with a thump and a vicious glare!
Your soul tarnished and heaped in the dump!
A lowly tramp who perverts holy verse.

But a woman of virtue --
Oh, she knows the way!
From your heart or your soul she'll never stray...
Not from Good, or God, or -- Godly ways.

She will not approach you like a thief in the night
To snare or to woo with delirious brew
Nor enter your bed until she inquires
As to the intents and purpose of those desires
For she wants to cleave to the God in you;
Not to woo you from that lofty place
Or to leave you shamed, hurt, disgraced.
NO!!

What she wants is to share integrity
Never to diminish intellect or dignity.
She moves with you and not without
She is altogether righteous--without a doubt.
Wants nothing more than your success;

Love, respect and happiness.
This is a good woman.

Not given to jealousy, control or tests
This is a beautiful woman.
A truly, virtuous woman,
She defies the rest.

To all who are longing for love,
Beware the vamp, the lowly tramp!
She will catch you while your pants are down
Render you feeble, a harlots clown!

The sophisticated vamp,
Just a Madonna for fools,
Will lead you astray
Was so easy to do.

So your mind is polluted I'm afraid to say
With your heart and your soul did you stray
You were duped by a vamp, dumped by a tramp,
Wooed, tattooed and left with her stamp.


Foolish man who cannot see
Beyond a guise of femininity.
Open your eyes now and see her through
You are on your way to the harlots zoo.

But a man who is wise?
Will not be drawn
To the harlots mask that changes dawn
His eyes see through those just like you
He is not seduced by utter flooze.

For the fortuitous man who is led by his soul
And not by the garments that boldly expose
The harlots cleavage, or derriere...
This man is winner and champions discipline
He has tamed his ego and sees through the guise
His eyes are wide open, no stars in his eyes!

And the women like her?
Oh! They will never, ever, do
For the champ is a thoroughbred with a mind like you!
Champ of a man---
No soiled, despoiled, tainted, Madonna
Can ever woo, seduce, vanquish you!!


© 10-17-2005


by Yaffa

If you like this poem, you will be blessed by the rest of my poetry too.
Answer Me, Love,
Bittersweet
Blue
Solitude
A Woman in Transition
Passion
Wounded Hero
My Muse
Ego Games
more to come..

http://yaffa.gaia.com/blog/2008/6/passion

Cup of Tea
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know… :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?

Blessings!!

 

to my husband Avi--- in Heaven

She wakes Alone.
Eyes opening to the abyss that is now her life;
Emptiness and separation, again.
Again, she is alone.

That word is woven into the fabric of her soul,
A recurrent theme that is now a nightmare
All of her life she knew the meaning of that word,
Alone.

Oh, yes, she had friends,
Many, wonderful friends
She was not without
But she waited for her time to love
Kept herself in holiness
And sanctity
Waiting for Him to send that holy one,
To create that union
Between two, never to be again,
Alone.

Fourteen years she waited
Alienated....not knowing love.
She was forced to be
A husband to herself in the world,
Alone.
And then he was there.
Fourteen years later,
She was no longer alone.

She had him for six and a half wonderful, yet, difficult, years.
She was his bones, his flower, his Yaffi, his bunch of honey
He was her life, her beautiful husband, her honey bunch, her tzaddik
And then he was gone;
A tragic accident, a truck, broken scooter, a banner,
"Anachnu ohavim otcha"
God, we love you.

They did not have long, happy years together.
Will she not know joy?
What was it that took him away?
God help her to understand.

Trying to be strong
Carrying the cries in her soul,
My beautiful husband, my darling husband
Why are you there, must it be this way, why am I here?

Cries that tear into the night
Cries that rip the heart of dawn
Cries that emanate from the depths of her
Cries from her insides, kidneys splayed against the walls
Cries at his empty bedside on her knees
A lonely soul crying out into the abyss,
Alone.
My beautiful husband, Good Morning, I love You.
Why must I continue to go on again this day,  
Alone.

This cruel joke,
Is one that only the One above understands---
What is this kindness from above that I will never comprehend?
What is kind about my not hearing you exhale in your sleep of exhaustion
Or not seeing your beautiful face as you sleep?
Why must I cry out into the night?
Alone.

Why does God give and then take back?
Perhaps, I will never know in this life.
In the abyss of my life, perhaps I am deceived,
I am truly alone.


by Yaffa©2003

 

Song has an important place in Jewish tradition. Song has an important place in our lives. The Talmud says "When the Jews wanted to celebrate, the Leviim would sing with violins, and all types of instruments that existed thousands of years ago. And the happiness of the people reached so far, that they drew the Ruach Ha Kodesh, the Holy Spirit.   

 

You make a grave error if you think that music -- melody or song is a simple thing. There are a few types of melodies, I.e., high or low beat, fast and slow that bring us to devekut,  clinging and drawing near, which makes one feel homesick for the spirit of God. We remind ourselves that we are in exile and how much we need God. 

Melody that is devoted to God, to holiness is hisorisis, (inspiration) meaning that it makes one want to do repentance for his sins. It brings us to tears and inspires us to repent, to come back to, or closer to, God.

 

Music can also bring happiness. It can elevate and lift a person up and bring him to dance without feeling tired.  In other words, melody and song has the power to transcend ones nature. For thousands of years we have prayed for God to bring back our priests to the holy work in the temple and please bring back the Leviim with their song. The songs that the Leviim sang in the times of the temple had very strong power. It wasn't a song of materialism, physicality or worldliness. It was on a level so high that it was not possible to comprehend.  It brought happiness to everyone. The Bavli quotes that they sang words of praise to God. Like it says in Kabbalah the Leviim never took part in the sin of the Golden Calf.  Therefore they were worthy to receive the honor to be the specialists of music and song.

 

Reb Shimon Sofer used to sing every morning a special song that he received from the Kolaver Rebbe. The Kolaver Rebbe's neshama came down to earth to bring down the songs that they were singing in the Temple, and they fell into the hands of the tumah, (Impure) and his job on earth was to bring them back to Kedushah, holiness.  

There is a famous story that there was a very fine Jewish man in the city of Brod in Galicia. He used to sing and whoever heard him came to make the return back to God, to repent and draw close. The Rabbi of Sanz told him to sing for women and he would close his eyes when he sang for the purpose of modesty. If you think about it, "performing" is quite the opposite; mostly it is immodest and carnal, devoid of God. Much of the music that is promoted today is simply a manifestation and reflection of one's own anger, negativity, crudity, arrogance, immorality, is degrading and demeaning, devoid of light, holiness, or even simple everyday goodness. This particular Rebbe died while he was singing  vidui, the traditional Jewish song of repentance when he gave back his holy soul. The enlightened and holy Sanzer Rebbe said that he should be buried right next to him. Another Rebbe, The Brisker Gaon, za'tzal, says that he knows that when the Messiah will come that the Leviim will sing again and then the tikkun ie,  perfection, (tikkun, meaning to fix) of music will come to completion.  There are stories about various Rebbes that had the power to create and sing music that brought back many people to God through their melodies and music because it was from a source of holiness, kedushah. This is why we must be very careful with music. 

 

If music has such power that it can bring one from Impurity to Holiness, then the opposite is also true. If we listen to a song that comes from the strength of Impurity, it will lead us to bad. It is taught from the verse in Psalms, Lamnatzeach - the victory of the number eight. Number eight has the capacity to fight against all Impurity and when the Mashiach will come we will then be worthy to the power of the verse here, to the song of number eight. 

Music written from a devotion to God or from a source of strength of virtue has the capacity - the power to sweep us up, to carry, lift, and elevate us from a lower dimension of being to a higher. And since this is true, so is the opposite. Music written and sung from the strength and source of Impurity will drag us down, down, down into the depths of depravation and darkness. It will alter our feelings, pervade our thoughts and change us, for our edification or to our demise. Its power is infinite and its strength, pervasive.

Indeed I surround myself with the music that is Beautiful with the quality of Godliness from purer sources of strength, with its quality to elevate my spirits and thoughts for good.  I need to bask in its tremendous power allow it to sweep me up into exaltation where I am then empowered.

Conversely I despise the music that has the capacity to dump me with a thud, leaving its filthy influence on my pure spirit with its dirty little agenda to pull an unsuspecting one into its twisted realm of reality along with its power to drag us  down, down, down, into the mullygrubs -- into darkness and futility.  This is the job of most rap.

I would like to encourage you to take a serious look at what you listen to and examine what effect your music has on you, whether it truly spurs you unto good, that which is truth, beauty and meritorious, life giving;  or the opposite -pulls you down; sinks you into darkness and futility. If we are honest, we can lift our spirits to the realms of truth and beauty, where God is, where real love is, where life is.

I would love to hear the results of your findings pertaining to your own music after reading this ...

Blessings

With all of the conversation here about soul mates, I just really had to write this...because I think if we really knew what the accurate definition of a soulmate was, more of us would have married ours and made a life with that ONE that has our name and face written on his/her soul and consciousness. We would not see people go from relationship to relationship and from heartbreak to heartbreak, one crash after another, bed to bed, woman to man, in and out of each others lives. That is sad and self defeating to say the least. Its heartbreaking to give, to trust, and to build with someone that isn't yours or that is 'yours' temporarily, that isn't yours. 

But today, the values and the mores of the generation are loose and free to say the least. Women think that its on the outside that counts and exploit themselves with little clothing, and no real self esteem. The message is: here i am, i am available, but that is not a good message, that is a message for people to invite use and abuse. We are worth much more than that!!  Young men and women go from one bad relationship to the next as well as adults who don't know what the criteria are for choosing and picking that person who you will give your heart to..On this blog, I want to add light and intention to all of you who are searching and seeking that ONE love that you will spend the rest of your lives with, that you can build bridges of trust with, that you can open your heart to and let one trustworthy person in ...and so I have given you some guidelines, I can give more if need be...there is always room for jello and always room to grow so that we place borders around ourselves for those people who will hurt us and take away the borders to those that really love us according to the highest principles and attributes of love; that one person who wants us for who we are and who is willing to love us, to commit to us, to build a life together, to live and grow with us for the duration.  That my friends is the only person in the world worth sharing yourself with.

Here goes: please take these teachings to heart, they really will honor you if you honor them; if you honor yourself, cause they are for your good. And who knows, maybe you really will receive what you are looking for if you make yourself that vessel that will not compromise until its with that ONE person you will build your life with. To that ONE, you will give all.

In Jewish Tradition it is said at conception there is a declaration - a loud voice from the heavens that says, "Michael will be the husband of  so and so, " or Sara is meant for so and so....and it is said that finding your soul mate is more difficult than the splitting of the red sea..."

Soulmates are those people who come into our lives that are cut from the same fabric as we are. For example... linen, cotton, silk..rayon, all distinct, unadulterated...not mixed up. Each  are a designation unto themselves; each but from a roll of the same fabric and that is why it is difficult to find your soulmate -- because there are zillions of pieces of fabric out there that are not the same, not cut from the same fabric and therefore, are disharmious...do not go together, they would not be soul mates because they don't share the same qualities - and not sharing the same or similar thread; colors, textures, attributes or qualities and therefore tho they might feel nice and be similiar they are not compatible for the long run or the highest potential.

Our merits, our integrity, our values and our accomplishments, our attributes and victories, our experiences mediate between whether or not we have arrived in potential to meet our true soul mate, because you must meet on the same levels... a true soul mate is one who shares the same merits and qualities, strengths....so a theif would not be the soul mate of someone honest for instance....you might be together, but unless you are of the same fabric, you are not soulmates...you are a mismatch..Soul doesn't lie, there are no lies that emanate from the soul, no deceptions, we can decieve ourselves but the soul will tell and manifest only the truth; so if we are for instance with an adulterer, there is something in us that is adulterous. Soul is the level of purity.

One meets his/her soul mate when they have worked to a certain level, and they can come together when they have that equality and are in a position to accept one another and earn one anothers respect. This can only happen tho if they are both looking for the right things. So, it is not about the outer appearances, it is about the inner being and essence, who you both are and what you stand for at the very core...on the level of soul. 

For instance when I met my late husband, may his soul rest in peace, I was not used to his kind of looks and under normal conditions I would not have picked a man who looked like him. But  we never saw one another before we spoke on the phone, we were set up by a mutual friend. We spoke on the phone and developed our relationship before we met. I was very conscious of his beautiful 'middot'...his characteristics and his attributes, his maturity, wisdom, speech, his essence; all of his words and his beautiful thoughts, actions, deeds, his sweetness; intents and desires to live a pure and Godly life. His desire was only to choose a woman like himself, with the same values and attitudes, desires, likes and commitment.  And I wanted that kind of man... 

Since I loved 'who he was' internally -- and I was conscious of who he was and what he stood for -- I knew that if I were attracted to him when we met, that I would marry him and he knew the same...we had already established that in our conversations, no games, no lets meet and sleep together and see if we like each other mentality...we were honest to the max about what we wanted from one another and our desires were to marry that ONE person who was for us.  However, I almost didn't marry him because my 'pictures' ie image, ego, my material self wanted him to look on the outside differently, He didn't fit 'my pictures" of what i wanted him to actually be; a bit more sophistcated, lol, more dapper, silly things that can be corrected..

I asked a friend to meet him who i respected and who was older  than I, to seek an opinion and i followed his great advice....I loved 'his soul, his essence, who he was, but it wasn't until after I married him that I fell in love with him.  Because when you meet one another on the level of SOUL, there is nothing else that competes, soul is where we live or unfortunately, don't live.....After our first year of marriage and living together did I really KNOW him, after we built bridges of trust and gave to each other....because to love is to give...and the more we give the more we love. When someone doesn't give to you, they are not loving you...(take a look at my "Spoiled Madonna.) And ultimately, man is the dominant giver, he is the giver and we are the vessel that receives, and of course we respond...but we are not the ultimate giver, if a man loves you his gives his all, even down to his seed...think about that one, you carry his baby, you cannot produce it, you are simply the vessel...if a man doesn't give, he doesn't love you..Giving is a male dominant attribute, it is one of the ten powers or attributes by which God rules the world and man is likened to God in this respect, God is THE dominant Giver..Receiving is designated as a feminine attribute. Surprised???  I certainly was...we are the vessel he hast poured himself into, actually we are in GOD, because GOD is bigger than us...We are a spark of God......we learn these things from Jewish mysticism, the Kabbalah..

People meet when they each have earned the level of the other...so that they are on the same level and have the same kinds of attributes, therefore they are able to go "UP" together, they elevate and add to one another, they 'fix' one another...so, his strengths might be my weakness, and my stength his weakness, we are opposite, and in hebrew it is said about Eve that she is opposite him, ie...she opposes him... she fixes him and we came to fix and balance one another, I grow from and into his strength and vice versa. We are opposite but have the same power and dynamic...and we complete one another.

The people who are in our lives at any given moment are people who have been with us in previous lives and we need to 'fix' something between us, to remedy something that is flawed....that is why we are here, to perfect our character and flaws..

Based on this criteria I would be interested to know how many here feel that they have been fortunate enough and very fortunate indeed to have found and married their soulmates and how many now will know what to look for in their choices?? Please, come forth!! Let's hear!~

Also, read my poetry,  "Passion" and Answer Me, Love," on this topic..

I tutor English and literature, psychology and religion, along with writing for university students. I am sharing this work that is from one of my friends who is brilliant but isn't fluent in english, she is from Argentina and I have translated all of her course work into english. She finished her degree in pyschology with honors and is working on her masters. Her ideas and understandings are very deep; profound; and come from a deeply mature spiritual understanding of  God, philosophy and psychology. Her thoughts and comparsions reflect her intellectual as well as her spiritual prowess. Her own understanding of man and the deeper teachings of the Torah, the bible, religion, of God. Enjoy~
 

Socrates contributions to ancient Greek Philosophy motivated me to seek out the truths of the great masters of philosophical thought. His primary belief was that if one reaches higher levels of knowledge and understanding that an individual will then have the tools available to achieve happiness because he says:  "that with knowledge we are able to attain the essence of a thing. " Conversely, without knowledge one cannot reach virtue. Knowledge is light, ignorance is darkness. Therefore, knowledge creates higher levels of understanding, wisdom, and competence, in contrast to ignorance which creates confusion, blindness, mediocrity and incompetence.

This is partial truth because education and knowledge generate an ability to manipulate life and govern behavior more effectively, to rationalize emotions and desires, thus creating awareness of the internal and external worlds.  Satisfaction is derived from a highly spiritual life, which also includes knowledge and wisdom. It appears that he repressed emotion only to serve reason. Also, he adds, "that a life unexamined is not worth living. " I agree with this concept as a life without self examination is close to superficial and mediocre.  He also said, "Know yourself."

This means that we must examine and delve into our inner motives, emotions, beliefs, purposes, goals, mores and values.  Knowledge, truth, beauty and virtue create clarity and illumination. Integrity of soul is the highest aspiration one can seek and this loftiest of all goals is worthy of highest merit. These are the attributes that when achieved are permanent and last throughout eternity.  An individual who develops his potential to reason will deeper higher levels of satisfaction. Knowledge expands comprehension. Comprehension will lead to virtue and good life, whereas, mistakes are caused by lack of information, discipline or ignorance.

I agree with Socrates in that knowledge serves to manipulate the external and internal worlds. Education develops and shapes healthy, spiritually sound individuals to attain character traits which will foster resistance against obstacles, temptation, challenges and tests that are always prevalent in ones growth process.   However,  I am more convinced by Arthur Schopenhauer's thought that a human being is always dissatisfied because life brings with it situations that are neither satisfying nor joyous and that also include suffering, yet virtue is its own reward. To continue with Schopenhauer thought: "to increase knowledge is also to increase distress."  Why? When we start to achieve knowledge and start to know ourselves more intimately, we become aware that our motives and thinking are flawed, imperfect,  they oftentimes betray us. In juxtaposition to Socrates, Schopenhauer believed that humans are governed more by irrational desires than by reason. We cannot reach happiness as it a momentary pleasure that is experienced when a need is satisfied. As soon one need is satisfied one experiences boredom and the introduction of another need surfaces. Thus, to be aware is to suffer and this is well said in the book of Ecclesiastes:

"In much wisdom is much grief, and he that increases knowledge increases sorrow." 

To summarize, although I do not agree in total with Socrates definition of happiness                 and satisfaction, I do consider him to be a heroic model of righteousness,             integrity and profound conviction; a paradigm of  valor, courage, virtue, wisdom, dignity and humility and I value his contributions to life as one of the worlds most brilliant thinkers and wisest of philosophers to add to the world of thought and truth. 

from the archives of FAU.. course work...do not use without authors permission..c.cohen and y. liebowitz

Re: Strong Intuition Vs. Proof

Well hello tiah!!

You should absolutely NOT abandon what you feel in your gut or your intuition:
Here's how it works:

There are two parts to the mind - an outer part, the 'outer view, and the inner part, the 'inner view' or inner eye. The 'outer eye' is easy to define in words: it is that part of the mind which grasps the world through the five senses, and it includes the rational or logical faculty. It deals with the finite, the measurable, arithmetical, the logical. ANYTHING WHICH THIS FACULTY CAN GRASP CAN BE EXPRESSED IN WORDS,  can be tested and PROVED. Perfect communication can be achieved between people at this level. Everything in the physical world is essentially accessible to this form of knowledge; and perhaps most significantly, a machine can duplicate its functions (often more effeciently than the human - computer and calculators, for example. 

The inner mind is the vessel of knowledge, called da'at. If one has no da'at, one has no wisdom, not even common sense. Such a person will give drugs to a drug addict.. The faculty of da'at considers, weighs up, makes decisions. It is capable of deciding correctly even when the sides of the question at hand are evenly weighted. It is deep and sensitive.

All the aspects of our consciousness, and consciousness itself, which are not included in this definition, comprise the 'inner eye', the da' at.  The da'at is intrinsic knowledge. It grasps things as they are and because they are, not because they can be measured or proved or expressed. In fact, the things which the daat knows can NEVER be expressed, proved or measured.  They are never physical or finite.


No machine could ever contain any of the knowledge of the da'at. This inner aspect of knowledge is you, the real you!! The outer mechanical aspects of the mind which can be duplicated by machine are not you, they are simply your tools -- attributes which the inner mind uses to communicate to the world. Things which you know externally are simply registered like elements in a computer program; things which you know internally are not registered, they are the inner knowledge itself.

Da'at actually means intimate communion. Intimate marriage is refered to as 'knowledge' by the bible, the Torah, and that is da'at. This is because the inner mind and its knowledge are truly inextricably bound into one. The mystics say that if you know something with the external mind and it proves to be false, it is simply deleted from the mind; but if something grasped by the inner mind ever proved to be false, you would cease to exist!!  It is the essence of intimacy. Of course nothing grasped by the da'at could ever be false, it is the vessel of truth. In the pure heart of da at' one understands or fails to understand, but never understands wrongly.

What are the elements which the da'at hold? A brief consideration shows that they are all the things which are most important in one's inner life. Some of the components of da'at are::
the knowldege of ones' own existence ( this is the primary knowledge of the da'at), the knowledge of the present; the knowledge of one's own free will; the graps that life has meaning; the grasp of intrinsic right and wrong; and ultimately, the da'at is the vessel of consciouness of a transcendent reality...(the mystics say that this is really an expansion of the most primary knowledge of the da'a't, that I exist -one of God's names is "ANI,"  the infinite "I."
These things cannot be proved. Although one knows them profoundly, they cannot be put into words. No matter how much one professes the reality of morality, an obstinate skeptic is FREE to DENY IT~! 

No one has yet formally proved that I exist - this is the oldest problem in philosophy. ("I THINK , therefore I am" does NOT mean that my existence is proved because my brain functions physiologically - that is no more proof than the physiology of any other bodily organ; it is simply a basic statement of the da'at: "i know I am, therefroe I am" is really what it means. Of course, since there are no words for the issues of the da'at it must simply be stated as 'I think, therefore......." (and an initiate will understand.)


I hope this clears things up for you!
yaffa

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 On the twelfth of February, 1809, nearly 200 years ago - a young, poor illiterate woman from Virginia, Nancy Hanks Lincoln, gave birth to a son in a log cabin built along the banks of the south fork of Nolin Creek, near what is now Hodgenville, Kentucky. That baby, whom she named Abraham, grew to become one of our greatest, and most tragic, national leaders.

Lincoln was a man of great spiritual conviction.
Yet, and I find this fact fascinatingly instructive, Abraham Lincoln was the only American president not to have declared himself a member of any particular religious faith.  That fact has given rise to a great deal of interesting speculation. In fact,
there are those who believe that Honest Abe was Jewish.

After all, his name was Abraham. His great-grandfather was named Mordechai. Lincoln was the only President not to have a formal religious affiliation.  He was neither
raised in a church nor did he ever belong to a church.

And there's more... the town of Lincoln, in eastern England, whence his ancestors came, has an interesting Jewish history. A Jewish community was established there in 1159.  During Crusader riots, the Sheriff of Lincoln saved the Jews by giving them official protection. St. Hugh, the great Bishop of Lincoln, taught love of Jews to his
parishioners. His death was marked by an official period of mourning among Lincoln's Jews.

Rabbi Joseph of Lincoln was a scholar mentioned in the Talmud; Aaron of Lincoln was a financier whose operations extended all over the country.  In 1255, Lincoln's Jews were accused of ritual murder.  Ninety-one Lincoln Jews were sent to London for
trial and 18 were executed. Notwithstanding, the Lincoln Jewish community flourished until 1290, when they were forcibly expelled by edict.

Most Jewish historians assume that all the Jews of Lincoln left in 1290. But could it be possible that some remained, practicing their Judaism in secret... passing the family secret from generation to generation? The more we learn of the secret life of Spanish Jewry following the Expulsion of 1492, the more we must at least consider the
possibility of the same thing occurring elsewhere.

When Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, whole Jewish communities sat shivah. Rabbis all over the country eulogized the fallen President. Rabbi Isaac  Mayer Wise, the man who created Reform Judaism in this country, began his eulogy with the words... "Brethren, the lamented Abraham Lincoln believed himself to be bone from our bone and flesh from our flesh. He supposed himself to be a descendant of Hebrew parentage. He said so in my presence."

Lincoln was often questioned about his religious beliefs. Time and again, he told of a special passage from Scripture that summed up his theology. It was the twentieth chapter of the Book of Exodus he recommended that every American study, learn and follow. In English it is usually referred to as the Ten Commandments.

This was my friend Carina's final assignment for philosophy. The assignment to the class was to Prove the existence of God. She is not fluent in english but in spanish and hebrew. I was fortunate in that no one understood her ideas in college so completely as I did and so I have the priviledge to write her work and to translate her ideas; she has received every honor in the department of psychology for her graduating class,   she is a brilliant thinker and i will also write a book with her soon..  Enjoy!
 

Descartes ideas on the subject of knowledge, reason and truth initiate the path for a scientific discourse.  Science, however, has not always existed in culture. I consider the ego of the individual not as a subject of knowledge, but a subject of the unconscious mind. Both Pascal and William James argue that there is a truth that transcends the limit of the human being and therefore individuals have the proclivity or inclination to seek truth outside of themselves.

Despite the similar stands against Descartes ideas, Pascal and James have different perspectives of human existence. Pascal believes in a transcendent God, thus truth for him is on a spiritual level.  The deity transcends or goes beyond human limitation. Pascal understood that there are two categories of individuals: the believers and the non- believers. It is my understanding however, that both believers and non-believers are in the same positions in that they all believe in something.  Debates exist as to the ultimate reality or truth being in reason, like science is on logical thinking and reason, and psychoanalysis is in the will and the unconscious, as James believes-- or in God. I believe one day in the future, mankind will have an elevation and have access to illumination through integration of science and religion, and this will be real wisdom and true, complete knowledge, because wisdom on the level of logical argumentation is very limited.

This I believe is the idea of William James.   

According to James: "We find ourselves believing we hardly know how or why... Our

faith stems from the teachings of others and their faith becomes ours to whatever degree we can relate, be motivated and stimulated by, identify with, and access tools for expansion towards growth, therefore it is faith in someone else's faith and in the greatest matters this is mostly the case. Our belief in truth itself, for instance, is that there is a truth and that our minds and it are made for each other. "(585) Human beliefs are a matter of will. There is an expression of free will through belief in God, interactions with others and expressions of feeling.  However, belief in a higher power escapes reason. A person chooses to possess faith in God, believing that God is so much greater and chooses to follow the guidelines of a particular faith to grow and become bigger. His or her values are not determined by other individuals. Meanwhile, science advances supposing that it discovers but what science does not know is that it does not discover anything, it only invents. Science does not know the reaches that knowledge has when ignited by the generator of faith; for this reason Lacan says that the scientist doesn't know what he is doing. I believe this is true because the scientist has no conscious understanding, no awareness, that any higher knowledge he has access to or is privy to-- exists on the level of spirit and is innate in his soul. If he doesn't believe in a higher level of existence, his wisdom is limited and his work is stymied by his own blindness.  

If we have no faith, we can not know for certain whether or not God exists. However, faith gives limitation wings and empowers one to access higher levels of wisdom, fulfillment of higher wisdom, increases potential, knowledge, thought and action.  There are things we can never know and it will be very interesting for me -- if in the  future - reason and faith will be integrated harmoniously as they co-exist together to manifest in higher levels of empowerment when man will discover and live according to these loftier ideals and levels of essence of being. It is my further opinion that ultimate reality will come about through maturation of spiritual understanding, also from our reasoning ability as long as we don't close the door to spirit, because when we close the door to our spirit, the door to wisdom also closes along with it, and likewise ultimately the door  to our greater ability to deduce logic and reason. The greatest of all thinkers and the most brilliant contributors to history, culture, and philosophy are those with a spiritual ‘savvy,' those with a higher regard for a higher power, they have maturity of soul, whether they attribute their beliefs, knowledge, intelligence and wisdom to faith or not, themselves or not,  the highest levels of knowledge, truth and wisdom can only be found in God. 

Our knowledge from mind or brain without the power of a developed spiritual base from the source of soul goes only so far, and science is limited while it denies the existence of the spiritual and prefers to count only reason in its calculations. 

  

I am not speaking now about RELIGION because religion in this world results in creating dichotomies far too often, whereas, the subject of God has nothing to do with religion but more so has to do with creation and how the created has the ability and the power to manipulate the universe through wisdom and knowledge to make the world a better place to live. There are hardly two people in the world who will both agree in terms of belief regarding God in their understanding of their own religious dogma. Rather I prefer to transcend this idea to continue on in the higher realms of understanding to discuss and present the idea of spiritual union in the arena of faith and unification. 

Ultimately faith in God amongst mature individuals will manifest in a unification of wisdom, spirit, reason, knowledge, and then the final goal and purpose of the universe and its individuals is to interact with God with all respect and sensitivity to Gods creation and everything in it; that including plant, animal, and mankind. A person who has respect for God and this creation will spend his/her life living in a way that adds to, that nurtures and gives back to God, man and the universe and everything that that involves-will join forces with mankind to help in the perfecting of this universe rather than only taking from it, to cultivate good and to leave the world a better place. In the bible there is a concept written in Hebrew called "Yireh shamayim," to have awe and respect for God and heaven, which includes all of his creation, both the physical and spiritual universes, and all created beings.  

It is my understanding that nothing happens, nothing is-- coincidence. It is not any coincidence that we are in this world together now. There must be a reason and an ultimate purpose, a cause, and an ultimate reality; that the intent of our Creator was to allow us to fulfill both his and our own individual potential, (which is really one and the same because his design for our ultimate good and highest potential) and a joint purpose on earth, for this reason we have a soul, (mind, heart and spirit), which the creator expects us to elevate and to use towards achieving loftier ultimate goals for ourselves as well as to use our energies, our very breath, to work towards reaching the fulfillment of our own perfection as well as our friends, neighbors and all humanity; and again, which also includes the physical universe and the whole of creation.    

 It is my further understanding that we are not here to enjoy only the pleasure of the material world or of the flesh, as I don't believe the creator is limited to this kind of shallowness. And as wonderful as pleasure is, I believe that there must be a cause and finality about why we are here at this time jointly sharing our lives together in the universe. There is an understanding in theological thought that every life that we connect with in this lifetime has been in our past previous lives and that we meet again to perfect or to fix that which was left unfixed, wronged, or undone, so I don't believe in coincidence, but rather I believe in the idea as Aristotle does, that there is divine intervention or providence, and Aristotle called this divine providence and divine intervention, "final purpose."

Now it is my belief that the most brilliant and mature of all whom we have studied are Pascal and Anselm. I will address the argumentation that brought us these greatest of thinkers.

 There is only one creator, one source. There is only one source that we call on to get a job done, so it is the same no matter what name we use and that sole source is the motor that energizes and generates all of life, both in the physical-- material, and spiritual realms. The soul existed long before the created human being became flesh and therefore every human being can recognize of existence of God, from where its soul emanated. Of course they are those that deny the existence of God as we well know, however those people also deny then their own godliness, thus they do not live in total truth, as they will not admit that there must be a generator, a source, that has produced life from the beginning of inception and a cause.

To admit having a creator is to be responsible for having received life and to be in charge of that life with a certain respect and dignity towards human issues. If we believe that we are not the "ultimate captain of our ship and the ultimate master of our soul," then we will manifest in our lives respect for one another, appreciation for, the created and the creation, as the gift is a gift that we have are not able to generate ourselves, but this gift that we have been given is to add to humanity and to add to the quality of human life, which also includes animals and all of the rest of the physical creation, and to be a source of goodness that both the source, the giver, and all humankind benefits from. For this reason, our bodies are insignificant; it is only our soul that has any kind of significance whatsoever, we are not defined by body type, except on the most impoverished levels of shallow thought.

God is perfection and the intent of God is always to create goodness, therefore since God is the highest level of good and perfection then the cause of God can only be good and not bad. Since we are created body and soul, this dichotomy between the physical and the spiritual does exist, and as Plato said: "there isn't a way that both can govern -- either one or the other must rule, and the only thing that should govern and be accountable is the soul, and that is the only thing that does count.  If we take the time to observe the beautiful and perfect functioning of our mind and body we cannot but come away with the understanding that this could not possibly be simple happenstance, certainly no accident here, rather an obvious intention from a higher source designed this perfection and its magnificence. How can we possibly think this perfection just occurred, that it came from nothing, when our brain is more complex and perfect than the most complex computer technology?  This alone is evidence that a kind of perfection and higher power does exist that is responsible for creating our perfect brain and bodily functions as they have continued to function and that life continues to exist generation after generation; each seed reproducing after its own kind.

I agree to varying degrees with all of the greatest philosophers who wanted to show and prove the existence of God.  I believe that the work and arguments that both Pascal and Anselm present are brilliant with regards to proof that God does exist and that their efforts to demonstrate these proofs to man of Gods existence has therefore fostered faith and good will, encouragement to good works and hope for the future to humanity.

from the archives of FAU.. Thesis course work...do not use without authors permission..c.cohen (translator y. liebowitz)